This ship's going tits up.

Iris really is like the cutest thing. She has started to have facial expressions and realizing she has an effect on her enviromemt. It is a trip to watch.

We are moving to Oregon. It is a little cookoo crazytown. Jon basically accepted a job on 'trial' they loved him and made his offer permanent. So as of feb 12 jon is moving up there. Until we sell the house I think I am only going to have a husband on weekends. WTF? Until we all relocate to Eugene Oregon! Having the kids alone, is wicked hard. Baby wants to be held all the time. I was grilling holding the baby last night #parentfail
BIG CHANGES
I hired a lady to help me out a few times a week. I need it. My mil is paying for the nanny. It is nice.
Nights are rough. But o-boo-hoo.

Mama is going to be doing ok is OR. U of O is there and so I am going to take some classes. Get some chickens, make my own yogurt - Go native.
I have been listening to a ton of Rolling Stones lately. You can't always get what you want: but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. There is a saying in Alanon - sometimes you get what you want. Sometimes you get what you need. Sometimes you get what you get.
- I need to start meditating.

"i called her back twice, (the woman who does freelancing) more than that is humiliating." yeah and I have an appointment with WIC on Friday. FML

No joke, a dog just barked at me and scared the shit out of me and I cried. Like an asshole in the bike shop. COOL.

"Wow you are really popping out!!! You aren't that far along, are you?" From owner
/ boss at work today.
Oh really? Fuck you.

This morning I sneezed and had this gut wrenching pain across my abdomen. A few minutes later I went to the bathroom, I freaked thinking there was blood in my underpants. Imagine how pleased I was when I discovered I had only pooped my pants.

Eff you

Ambivalence occurs in intimate relationships when there is the coexistence of opposing emotions and desires towards the other that create an uncertainty about being in the relationship.