Quiverfull

So I learned something new today, that I thought I would share. I am sure that some of you avid TV watchers have seen the delightful show on the Discovery Health Channel, 14 Kids and Pregnant Again Not to be confused with another cable program favorite of mine, 15 and Pregnant staring the nubile Kirsten Dunst and Park Overall as her stressed out mother. Anyhoo, apparently there is a whole genre of people, referred to as Quiverfull. Basically if I have this right - is mostly but not always - Christian couples who are letting God have total control their family planning and family size. And believe that despite how many blessings they receive, God will provide for them and their family because they are doing God's will. Here are a couple of choice quotes from the mothers of these huge family's (usually 6-10+) I am glad these ignorant women are raising broods of children to eventually set free on the world...

"I'm sorry, but you are misinformed. There is no such thing as overpopulation in this day and age. Numerous countries have zero or a negative population growth. (For statistics, please contact the National Right to Life Association.) In the United States alone, one out of every four babies die because their mothers kill them in the womb. Don't think there's enough food or land? The United States throws away tons of food each year. Millions of acres of land worldwide is unpopulated.
Sorry to disappoint you, but I believe God is doing a fine job of controlling the world's population. I don't need to worry about that. Every year He has floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, volcanos, (need I go on?). Too bad there are so many people trying to play God. I believe he is doing an awesome job. (motherof11)


Overpopulation is a myth and an excuse to have more things and less children!! Our Priest speaks often about the myth of overpopulation. Most countries are actually experiencing a decline in population, couples are not producing enough children to replace themselves when they die. The US is becoming an "elderly" nation, who's going to take care of them?? I loved the response to the ignorant woman on why we have so many children: they will become the next doctors, nurses, cooks, etc. She'd better pray her response didn't leave the door open for people to ignore her in her time of need!! (kclfarm)

Wow!

These are probably the same people who believe that global warming and the Holocaust were a myth invented by the liberal media. I swear...

We are getting a water delivery tomorrow and there is like 1-1 1/2 gal left in the thing that I am trying to drink single handedly. I am floating and literally peeing every five minutes.

While I was looking for a link to 14 kids and pregnant again. I found all these blogs and sites about 14 year olds being pregnant. I just want to cry.

Try to look past the sexy back fat to all those little bandages, there are burnt bloody pieces of me under there. Can you count them all? 

Two kitties drinking from the sink. 

New Roller Skates! 

Roofie getting love on a better day. 

little underbite 

Little sweatshirt, you can tell he is humiliated. 

Have you ever seen a cuter nose? 

Stick a needle in, cut 'em off and burn 'em!

So that's what happened to 9 little skin tags that I got removed from my body this morning.
The worst part, of course, the needle. I was feeling woozy but I couldn't admit it. The dr, who was this white blonde old man that had a swedish or austrian accent kept saying, "Are ve Ok?" for some reason I just giggled like I was 8 or something. The needle felt like he was injecting fire into my fatty wart knobs (doesn't 'skin tag' sound so much better?). Then after the numbness set in, he cut them off with scissors! Eeeek. Then he burns them with this wand thing that looked like a portable cigarette lighter thingy from the car. All I could smell was ham. Although I thought I was going to york, the smell still made me hungry. How fuckin gross is that?

Do you think by 5 a day they mean 5 varieties of cheese and cheesy like substances. All I want to eat is salt and cheese. YUM!

I love it that it is still a mystery to me why I weight 4 metric tons!

Last night Roofie pissed on Motu's bed for the fortieth time. I was so unbelievably irate that I grabbed Roofie by his scruff and squeezed the shit out of him he was spurting piss like a fountain while I rubbed his face in the piss. Then I locked him out on the porch in Time Out for like an hour until Jon got back from the airport. (he went to LA, where he saw, John Luvitz, and Steve Forbes (?, I am dubious of this one, and he ate at the Ivy.)
I am such a horrible small human. I hate myself after these gross abuses of poor Roofie, but it is like I am possessed by rage. I wonder if I could be capable of murder in such a state. What if I beat my children? Ugh, drama...

PS that album that won best record of the year, the Ray Charles one, sucks. It is like the music you have to endure while you are getting root canal at the dentist. I sorry he is dead and I fully intend to see Ray. But it is still a boring ass album. But how much does Melissa "baldy" Etheridge Rock? She was awesome...

Super close up of Roofie and my thumb with my new camera phone. Cool huh? 

Happy Vagina Day

Wouldn't it be nice if instead of celebrating some dead saint, who apparently wanted lovers to spend money on stupid crap like single roses wrapped in baby's breath and cellophane. We celebrated the vagina instead. The mysterious bodily opening that is the cause of so much pleasure and pain.

I don't know, just a thought...

In other news. Please save your money. DO NOT got and see Aviator. The movie should be called "Leo's Face, with Furrowed Brow". Awful, boring movie. Leo goes "mad" in the movie and walks around naked for a while. His ass looks like an 75 year old lady. All saggy and weird. I really disliked the movie a lot. It was a waste and I think Scorsese owes me my $10 back and he needs to figure out a way to give me back the 3 hours of my life I lost.

On the upside ^, We got to the movie really early and I was able to waste some time at the Goodwill store and scored some truly awesome roller skates. Photos to follow shortly,( as I got my vagina a new camera phone for Vagina Day, she deserves it.) So it wasn't a complete waste...

Additionally, I ate like 4 beets during the Grammy's last night so Motu had a red shit for V-day and I have been peeing pink. How festive!

trying something

click here for a freakshow.

Happy Year of the Cock

Yeah I know I am 12.

Is it just me or is anyone else absolutely GLUED to American Idol '05?
I was never really into it before. But now I am , 100lb man and I watch it and scream things at the tv and berate 2-bit-hack Paula Abdul and utterly replaceable Randy Jackson. Perhaps because we are not sedated with alcohol and stuff we can be more angry and aggressive.

Why doesn't blogspot have some kind of search engine thing? I love the feature that takes you to the next blog, I didn't like it that every third blog is in a language I don't understand. I also don't like the obscene amount of fairies and goddesses who seem to also frequent blogspot.

WTFIWWP (what the fuck is wrong with people)

Warning: This may read like a moral rant from on high...

OK as of 74 hours ago, I have sworn off all of my favorite things.
that means beer, wine, caffeine, and the awful wonderful marijuana. That being said, this weekend there were tears, pounding headaches, fights, tantrums, pouting, speak of quickie divorces and general angyst.

Hold up - put your fears aside, we slept holding hands last night.

Wow that was a lot of disclaimers!

Now to the topic I was heading towards. I was hanging out in the dog park today. This lady in her mid-40's came out of the children's play-area pen. She was wearing a blue bikers helmet. She proceeded to go over by the bushes and released a powerful stream of urine. She made no attempt to hide or show shame or anything. But you know me, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she had a UTI, or she was simply just crazy. 5 minutes later, she came out of the children's play area (still with helmet on) with a 2 year old child in tow, who she proceeded to take over to the bushy area to the side of the park. Now, this is in plain view, she pulled the kids pants off and sat him on the ground while he SHAT in the grass. The lady was fully prepared with wipes and this was clearly not the first time it had happened, nor was it reserved for emergencies. Ok so this is disgusting.

After the kid was cleaned up she proceeded to clean the kids fucking foreskin in public. That is something I NEVER want to see.

So the lady was still sitting in the same place as where her kid just shit (shat), she proceeded to smoke a one hitter of pot directly in the kid's face. It looked like she was trying to give the kid a shottie. All the while, still wearing the helmet. The little kid was actually sitting there with his sweater over his nose. I just wanted to cry. That poor kid. What do you do? Should I have said something? Should I have done something? I feel like I witnessed child abuse, and DSS should be called.

I wish so bad that I had a camera, and that alone is almost enough for me to go and get a camera phone. I was talking with a guy who is a dog walker from the east coast, and so he spends a substantial amount of time in the park. He says every given week, he sees about 50 acts of public defecation and urination. He sees parents encouraging kids shitting in the park, this also includes all the homeless and general crazies, and I guess the extremely lazy. So fucking gross. I am utterly sicked out, and I hope you guys are too!


If anyone is a puss-rock Ben Folds fan, I dare you to try to listen to his rendition of Tiny Dancer without welling up...