All Eyes on Pakistan

For WWIII-

Today is my last day of taking care of my neighbors cat. Apparently not a moment too soon. As I may or may not have mentioned in the past. I hate cats.
I was cleaning up and making sure the place looked neat and stuff.
E loves their house because they have two floors. He gets up the stairs and requests "mummy monster" so I scare him and chase him all over. I took the poop litter outside, and don't you know, I locked myself out. My neighbors are due home today so that wouldn't have been too big of a deal, except I had locked E inside. After 1 minute of panic, I grabbed a ladder, took it up the stairs outside and climbed to the top of the ladder and kinda had to jump to a window. Had I been 2oz fatter, I would have fallen and broken my ankle(s). I had to hoist my enormous ass into the window (thank god it was unlocked) and then dump myself into the house onto their synthesizer. It was exactly as graceful as it sounds. I was wearing lime green pj bottoms with navy blue sweatered polar bears propped up with ski paraphernalia, and oyster colored "shearling" slippers, both presents from my moms.
I get inside and E didn't even notice I was gone. The E runs aggressively at their cat like he does to ours and the cat took a swipe at him and scratched him on the leg. About 1 minute after I am back in the house, directly right under my nose.
My belly and my legs hurt from hanging into the window. When I was hanging with my huge, lime green ass kinda stuck in the window, moving musical instruments from breaking my fall in, while trying to summon the remaining strength to drag my business end into the house. I must have looked like a flannel clad horse-ass in a traveling wagon.

Brighteners for the Pet Lover's Heart, December 28:
Buterflies are at first long worms.
But then they start living right.
-A Child's Garden of Misinformation

Yuckers.

Happy Anniversary Parental Units

So today is my parents 32nd wedding anniversary.
I didn't send them a card or anything. I know my dad's sister sends them a card every year and my grandmother. When my brothers and I get our heads out of our respective asses sometimes we can pull off a gift.
Thirty-two years is a long fucking time. I cannot imagine.

Our holiday was blessedly quiet. We ordered our ham dinner from a nice shop. We were all kinda sick. Just snotty and stuffy. Good times.

My baby brother came through in a big way and got us a new laptop. Which I am happily clicking away on now. Otherwise the gifts were pretty modest. I tried to get jon Visionaire #52. But when I got to the SFMOMA, there was only one left and there was a slice in the leather. So not cool to give someone a damaged collectors' item book. So jon got socks and underwear.
He gave me a massage which I got yesterday at Kabuki Springs Baths, I actually remembered to wear my contacts so I could stare at all the other naked ladies.
Every time, yes all 4 times, I go there, I see a beautiful bald almost amazonian lesbian there. Where are these women in RL? Also, to lez out for a sec, it is shocking to see the perfect pair of tits some of these women are packing. I realise I will never have the body again of a woman who hasn't has a baby, but that doesn't mean I should give up all together. Or Does it?
My MIL got me a christian book "365 Day Brighteners for the Pet Lovers Soul." Here is today's':
You should be like one big happy family...loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds." I Peter 3:8 TLB
My first question is what is the living bible? is the "real" bible dead?

She is also the type of person that will forward around all those "merry christmas vs happy holiday" debaters, as if that is the civil liberties we need to protect.

Also - I hate my animals. I mean I can sometimes tolerate the goddamned dog. But the fucking cats, my god, I can tell that I am off my medication by the fact I have kicked otis. He broke my beautiful orchid, which was kinda my pride and joy. He pulled the E's Christmas ham off of his high chair (or table as he calls it.) I have been taking care of my neighbors cat while they are away. Why do people keep cats? They are such awful animals. Their cat tried to take me out on their stairs.
My cats vomit everyday. It is not if they barfed, but where is it and when am I going to step in it with my bare feet.
If I had a nickle for every time I said to an animal "I am going to f*n kill you..." we wouldn't have our current mortgage problems.

Decembers Post

I write my little blog posts in my head all day. You may think there would be more actual posts of the reading variety, but you would be wrong.
I have a very rich inner life.

The Haps-
-E is now 2.
-I took myself off my meds.
- My babysitter quit me.
-I had both of J's parents here for E's b-day. Wait haven't they been divorced for 18 years? Why were they both at your house at the same time?
-All of my childbearing friends are pregnant.
-the husband and I have been disagreeing about everything, I dread the weekends.
-We are staying out here for the holidays. j is not taking any time off (see above), so it will be just like not having xmas, since we can't afford presents this year.
- I think I am not sending xmas cards out again this year. I chose a photo and foolishly asked my MIL opinion. It was a photo from July but a really cute one. MIL: 'oh my god don't use that one, it doesn't look anything like him anymore. Use this one.' Which was literally taken 5 days after we got back from MA. So fuck it, no cards.
- The house is great, but it is killing j. I guess the impending doom of foreclosure is just like waiting for an artery to burst, or a marriage to end.
-Since I have taken myself off the pills. I have realized what a great tool they were for keeping me a live when I wanted to kill myself. But once the "crisis" had passed, I was giving the pills way too much power.
I am angry all the time now, but I think I am just an angry person. Let's be honest, I am a bit of a victim. Nothing is my fault, yet I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I guess this is why I don't post more. Who gives a shit?