So Jon is away and that means more posting than anyone would want to ever read.
I just got back from PNYC. There were actually 3 other woman there. One was 7 months, one 8 months and one 9 months, she was due last week, then there is me at measly 4 months. Who knew there was a hierarchy amongst pregnant woman? Not that I should be surprised. I was treated as the faker because I am not showing, I just look dumpy and bloated. Everyone else had huge bellies. They all laughed because it took them 5 minutes to get into the poses while I, being the queen of athleticism I am, was able to gracefully get into enviable postures.
There was dissent among the visibly pregnant too though. The 8 monther asked the 9 monther if they were going to induce her. And the 9 monther sniveled at the suggestion because she is going natural and having a home birth and therefore they are not going to do something so barbaric and unnatural as induce.
I mean I didn't expect us to all hug and weep under the umbrella that is pending motherhood. Or chant earth goddess mother style but, we are all going through something similar together, no?
I foolishly thought this would be a good way to meet other knocked up chicks from the hood. But I was mistaken. Plus who would want to be friends with the girl who farts her way through yoga class? I can't help it. Child's pose makes me fart when I relax into it. What am I supposed to do? Tense all up and hold it in?
Ewwwwwww that is the gross farting girl from yoga class...
Monday, June 27, 2005
Pride Weekend
So this weekend was pride weekend in grand ol San Francisco. It was "Happy Pink Saturday" and that was the day of the Dyke Parade. Which was kicked off by Dykes on Bykes. It was all these motorcycling, leathered-out, lesbians tearing through the Mission. We were invited by a friend of a friend to go to their apt and enjoy the festivities. It was cool. There were lots of really beautiful women and lots of ugly woman and many many woman sans shirts. While some of the baby dykes had fantastic cute perk little breasts, there were many old fat ladies proudly showing their goods as well. It was cool cause you know what? Fuck em. Who cares if you are fat and have giant stretch marks? I felt too creepy taking pictures of the topless ladies so there are none.
One of my favorite parts of the march was the first trolley that went by that had all the older lesbians on there that couldn't make the walk. One of them had a sign that said, "I wish when I was 20 I had an old dyke like me to talk to," I just wanted to cry. I don't think these young people really understand what previous generations had to go through to so they could be where they are now.
Then Sunday was the actual pride parade. I missed most of the parade since I was on a quest for an all beef hot dog ($5 can you believe it?). But there were lots of gay men and lesbians all over the place.
It was a really good positive vibe. Lots of love and tolerance and acceptance. This is one of the reasons I want to stay in SF and raise kids here. It is fantastic to see all kinds of lifestyles getting a long and laughing and drinking over prices water down drinks. Dancing and kissing and hugging.
I felt like in NYC there was always a very ominous overtone to the pride parade. Like at any moment some crazy Irish Catholics are going to spring up with baseball bats and start stomping. Not here, it was fun. There were tons of kids, one little kid had on a shirt that said "I heart my moms," I wanted to cry.
I got sunburned and listened to some really really bad music, third eye blind anyone?
Here are the pictures...
One of my favorite parts of the march was the first trolley that went by that had all the older lesbians on there that couldn't make the walk. One of them had a sign that said, "I wish when I was 20 I had an old dyke like me to talk to," I just wanted to cry. I don't think these young people really understand what previous generations had to go through to so they could be where they are now.
Then Sunday was the actual pride parade. I missed most of the parade since I was on a quest for an all beef hot dog ($5 can you believe it?). But there were lots of gay men and lesbians all over the place.
It was a really good positive vibe. Lots of love and tolerance and acceptance. This is one of the reasons I want to stay in SF and raise kids here. It is fantastic to see all kinds of lifestyles getting a long and laughing and drinking over prices water down drinks. Dancing and kissing and hugging.
I felt like in NYC there was always a very ominous overtone to the pride parade. Like at any moment some crazy Irish Catholics are going to spring up with baseball bats and start stomping. Not here, it was fun. There were tons of kids, one little kid had on a shirt that said "I heart my moms," I wanted to cry.
I got sunburned and listened to some really really bad music, third eye blind anyone?
Here are the pictures...
Friday, June 24, 2005
Wowowee
OK I pilfered this from the website hissyfit.com,
but really if you are feeling dubious about the Tom Kat media machine please read this. Now granted it is from Fox News. A HIGHLY suspect news source. But I could not not pass this on...
but really if you are feeling dubious about the Tom Kat media machine please read this. Now granted it is from Fox News. A HIGHLY suspect news source. But I could not not pass this on...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Summer albums
Since becoming a vessel of life, I have been listening to exclusively puss rock. Well except on really hot days when nothing else will do but 2pac - All Eyez on Me. But in case anyone was interested in my summer of puss rock playlist. Well I am still working on the playlist that I will publish on itunes, cause you can do that and I am into it.
here are some of the artists / albums I will cull the majority of them:
Andrew Bird - Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs.
My Morning Jacket - It still Moves.
The Decemberists - Picaresque.
Doves - Some Cities.
(Smog)- Supper.
Beaulah - The Coast is Never Clear.
Iron & Wine - Woman King & Our Endless Numbered Days.
Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It in People.
The Postal Service - Give Up.
The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site.
Ben Folds - Songs for Silverman.
Pretty cool of me, huh? In case anyone cares and wants to know more about anyone and they would rather have the kristen version than the allmusic.com version. Contact me - we'll talk.
here are some of the artists / albums I will cull the majority of them:
Andrew Bird - Andrew Bird and the Mysterious Production of Eggs.
My Morning Jacket - It still Moves.
The Decemberists - Picaresque.
Doves - Some Cities.
(Smog)- Supper.
Beaulah - The Coast is Never Clear.
Iron & Wine - Woman King & Our Endless Numbered Days.
Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It in People.
The Postal Service - Give Up.
The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site.
Ben Folds - Songs for Silverman.
Pretty cool of me, huh? In case anyone cares and wants to know more about anyone and they would rather have the kristen version than the allmusic.com version. Contact me - we'll talk.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Baby Mama
So I went to this pre-natal yoga class. No one else was there perhaps it was the unseasonable hotness or the weird afternoon time but, it was just me and the instructor. She kicked my ass. She wouldn't let me get away with the lazy postures I am used to, it was all about opening the hips, open them puppies up yo!
So it was intense and embarrassing.
Then we are going into deep meditation and in this part I was supposed to have a 'sacred conversation with my child.'
It went something like this:
"um, hi there,
I am your mom. Good luck with that"
It was pretty sacred and shit.
So it was intense and embarrassing.
Then we are going into deep meditation and in this part I was supposed to have a 'sacred conversation with my child.'
It went something like this:
"um, hi there,
I am your mom. Good luck with that"
It was pretty sacred and shit.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
She Bangs!
So I was all gung ho about getting my hairs cut and getting some fringe action. And lo and behold my little hair cutter in training calls me and asks if I am available for hair modeling the following day. Ummm free haircut, hells yeah.
Anyway so I get this 2+ hour hair cut and it hurts cause I am a "tenderhead" as my old roommate from college would call me.
I get my hair flat ironed and that took foreva. But my hair looked so sleek, so cool. I could have been in commercials dammit! However it was the one day it rained in SF in like weeks. It probably won't rain again for more weeks and so then my hair looked like this.
It was sad and now I have the ugliest hair I have had since the 8th grade, and that was bad...
Jon also got his haircut that day at a different salon and he paid actual money. He was very disappointed and since he got his haircut almost a week ago, he has been pouting and we have fought about his hair no less than 7 times. Sometimes it really blows being married to a chick. He said he resents me for making him cut off his hair but, fuck, it looked BAD. He thought it was the cat's meow. But eeewwww, he looked like he was wearing a hair helmet. I really hated it. He has been pouting and moody and miserable ever since. I am secretly enjoying it. He looks so handsome with short hair.
Well this was the most inane blog entry eva, HAIR!
Anyway so I get this 2+ hour hair cut and it hurts cause I am a "tenderhead" as my old roommate from college would call me.
I get my hair flat ironed and that took foreva. But my hair looked so sleek, so cool. I could have been in commercials dammit! However it was the one day it rained in SF in like weeks. It probably won't rain again for more weeks and so then my hair looked like this.
It was sad and now I have the ugliest hair I have had since the 8th grade, and that was bad...
Jon also got his haircut that day at a different salon and he paid actual money. He was very disappointed and since he got his haircut almost a week ago, he has been pouting and we have fought about his hair no less than 7 times. Sometimes it really blows being married to a chick. He said he resents me for making him cut off his hair but, fuck, it looked BAD. He thought it was the cat's meow. But eeewwww, he looked like he was wearing a hair helmet. I really hated it. He has been pouting and moody and miserable ever since. I am secretly enjoying it. He looks so handsome with short hair.
Well this was the most inane blog entry eva, HAIR!
Friday, June 10, 2005
Does this count?
Do bagels with goat cheese and honey count as a weird craving? That is the closest I have come.
I imagine this is as close as I am going to get to ever being an 17 y.o. boy. All I dream about is sex and food. Well and my waking life is pretty much the same as well.
I have all these crazy sex dreams. And if food nor sex is involved them my dreams are incredibly violent. Where I am hacking people up with machetes and gruesome things. Last night I had all these stretch marks on my belly, which I don't have yet. And I was covered in bruises. On my face and my body and legs, yes everywhere. Weird.
We watched this really crappy 'scary' movie last night. "darkness" it was not very scary and *spoiler* the 'evil' wins. WTF?Also Anna Paquin looked very ugly, she was making constipation faces the whole time, and she had gross old man hands.
Does anyone in NY want to overnight me like a dozen bagels? I am dying here. The bagels here are like bread, there is no bagely goodness to them. I need a couple salt, a few pumpernickle, maybe sourdough if they have them, one everything, maybe a sesame seed, and the rest plain. Please, I am dying here.
I am currently listening to the new white stripes album. So far it is pretty awesome, a full review to follow once I listen to it all a few times...
I imagine this is as close as I am going to get to ever being an 17 y.o. boy. All I dream about is sex and food. Well and my waking life is pretty much the same as well.
I have all these crazy sex dreams. And if food nor sex is involved them my dreams are incredibly violent. Where I am hacking people up with machetes and gruesome things. Last night I had all these stretch marks on my belly, which I don't have yet. And I was covered in bruises. On my face and my body and legs, yes everywhere. Weird.
We watched this really crappy 'scary' movie last night. "darkness" it was not very scary and *spoiler* the 'evil' wins. WTF?Also Anna Paquin looked very ugly, she was making constipation faces the whole time, and she had gross old man hands.
Does anyone in NY want to overnight me like a dozen bagels? I am dying here. The bagels here are like bread, there is no bagely goodness to them. I need a couple salt, a few pumpernickle, maybe sourdough if they have them, one everything, maybe a sesame seed, and the rest plain. Please, I am dying here.
I am currently listening to the new white stripes album. So far it is pretty awesome, a full review to follow once I listen to it all a few times...
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Do the Locomotion
So we went for our second appointment yesterday.
Low and Behold there was a heartbeat. This is real. There is another living thing in my body. FREAKY.
The midwife put the little sound thing right into my guts ( I guess uterus is the right word) and there was nothing. I held my breathe, I felt the room start to spin, then she moved it around a little and there it was. This loud, strong chuga-chuga. I almost lost it. I looked at jon out of the corner of my eye because I knew if I looked fully at him I would cry. He had the biggest smile ever on his face. It was really a magically moment.
Then we went over my bloodwork. I don't have the clap! We are all very relieved about that.
My whole life I have been under the impression that my blood type was O+. My mother has told me this forever. Yesterday the midwife told me my blood type was A+. A much sexier blood type if you ask me.
I immediately called my mother to tell her about yet another lifelong lie that had been debunked. She is now convinced that my father has lied to her about all the kids' blood types and my he never actually check at the hospital when we were born, like he told my mother he did. Good one dad.
Low and Behold there was a heartbeat. This is real. There is another living thing in my body. FREAKY.
The midwife put the little sound thing right into my guts ( I guess uterus is the right word) and there was nothing. I held my breathe, I felt the room start to spin, then she moved it around a little and there it was. This loud, strong chuga-chuga. I almost lost it. I looked at jon out of the corner of my eye because I knew if I looked fully at him I would cry. He had the biggest smile ever on his face. It was really a magically moment.
Then we went over my bloodwork. I don't have the clap! We are all very relieved about that.
My whole life I have been under the impression that my blood type was O+. My mother has told me this forever. Yesterday the midwife told me my blood type was A+. A much sexier blood type if you ask me.
I immediately called my mother to tell her about yet another lifelong lie that had been debunked. She is now convinced that my father has lied to her about all the kids' blood types and my he never actually check at the hospital when we were born, like he told my mother he did. Good one dad.
Friday, June 03, 2005
More pictures
Some of these are repeats from what I posted here but there is a new pastel that I know you are all dying to see...
CLICK TO SEE.
CLICK TO SEE.
Facials (not the dirty kind you pig)
So I went and got myself a facial today. I have never gotten a facial before, holy shit, it was freakin awesome. It is basically a massage for your face. Ok so there are the "extractions" and those are kinda painful, but you know it is good pain because you are going to have crystal clear skin. So run out and get one for yourself if you never have, or you haven't in a while...you deserve it.
I have been feeling like a fat troll. My skin looks like a scene from the final show down on the volcano planet of Star Wars - War of the Clone Siths. (which was awesome. It was all fighting and cute, pouty, one-expression hayden christensen-I-will-never-work-again.)
So I got my nails did and got a facial and I have to say I feel very fantastic.
I just spoke to one of jon's coworkers, who is due mid December, and she is miserable. I feel really bad for her. She's had to take medical leave from work because she is feeling that bad. She is losing weight because she can't keep anything down. Unlike the incredible growing woman>>>>
Just a word of assvice. Two words that one should avoid when buying clothing - 'low-rise' and 'maternity' no one wants to see my ass crack, even less so when my ass is so freakin HUGE.
However, some guy shouted to be that I was "looking healthy baby." I guess it is my 'junk in the trunk' or 'budonkadonk.'Yeah I am cool don't forget it.
I have been feeling like a fat troll. My skin looks like a scene from the final show down on the volcano planet of Star Wars - War of the Clone Siths. (which was awesome. It was all fighting and cute, pouty, one-expression hayden christensen-I-will-never-work-again.)
So I got my nails did and got a facial and I have to say I feel very fantastic.
I just spoke to one of jon's coworkers, who is due mid December, and she is miserable. I feel really bad for her. She's had to take medical leave from work because she is feeling that bad. She is losing weight because she can't keep anything down. Unlike the incredible growing woman>>>>
Just a word of assvice. Two words that one should avoid when buying clothing - 'low-rise' and 'maternity' no one wants to see my ass crack, even less so when my ass is so freakin HUGE.
However, some guy shouted to be that I was "looking healthy baby." I guess it is my 'junk in the trunk' or 'budonkadonk.'Yeah I am cool don't forget it.
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