Recognized

Today I was recognized by a stranger as a pregnant.
It was the lady (her name is My)that waxes my eyebrows, "you have baby?" She was very pleased when she heard it was a boy.

Staying Fat

I got yelled at today by our vet, Dr Wong. Motu has been growing at an exponential rate. My little Boston terrier who was supposed to max out at 22lb is now a whopping 34.6 lbs. What a porker!

So I am not sure how we are going to try to smuggle him onto the plane. But I think I will just cry if they try to put him in cargo. I mean who can deny a crying pregnant woman?

SO he got his rabies vaccine and a distemper shot. Very exciting and $68 dollars later...

I have been having terrible insomnia lately. Part of it has to do with traveling, I am a nervous traveler, part of it has to do with my MIL, who I think I am going to start referring to as "she who will not be named," She is that bad. Part of it has to do with my consistent heartburn that trades off with weird late night allergies to keep me up.

re pregnancy: It is weird to feel sexual and yet unappealing at the same time. I mean my actual body looks kinda beautiful. Gentle swelling of my belly and just soft roundness everywhere in my breasts and fanny (hee hee). But as far as feeling like this could be appealing to anyone (specifically my husband) I am thinking, not so much. I feel proud and kind of amazed at my body.

I just went to the grocery store because I NEEDED some of those Hostess cupcakes, the black ones with the white squiggle frosting and some green peppers. But then the cupcakes were like $3.99, WTF? and the little debbie version was 10 for $10. I only got one box, but when did hostess cupcakes get so expensive. However, when I think of it, I guess I have never purchased them or priced them out before.

I Passed!

I passed my glucose test. Which I celebrated with a shot of honey and downing a $.99 bag of Doritos.

On my way to Walgreens there were two teenagers sitting on a stoop and as I walked by they said tauntingly, "jizz for sale, jizz for sale" I had just walked like 2 miles in search of the fancy cat food, for well, the GD cats, which seems to be out of stock on the west side of SF. I was in no mood, I was on a quest for Meow Mix (the McDonald's of cat food.)
"Look. I am 6 1/2 months pregnant, I don't need any jizz for purchase or otherwise." They laughed, not in a good natured, appreciative way, but in the way kids laugh at the one kid in high school who's parents don't own a TV - maliciously!

Size

k: Do my breasts look bigger?
j: (eyes widen slightly) um yeah...they are huge.
k: what were they before?
j: they were big.
k: what are they now?
j: huge.

Poor Choices

Perhaps eating 1 1/2 lbs of red grapes and then like 2 cups of Spanish rice before PNYC was not a good idea.
It gave me immense pleasure to eat grapes while I read The Grapes of Wrath (because I am such a GD literalist.) Which was such an awesome book I want to become a high school English teacher so that I can make teenagers read this book. Ask me when I read a 500 page book that was not about a hot teenage wizard that fast...
Those of you know that have read the book, maybe not such a great book for a pregnant to read.

PPNYC

So I made Jon come with me to this Partner Pre-Natal Yoga class on Sunday. It was really a terrible class. But something I found interesting was that the hugely pregnant women were doing headstands. The room was tiny and crowded and at one point when I was in triangle pose the lady teaching the class hit me in the head with her ass. What the hell? I have another free pass for this class so I think I may go back, you know since it will be free. It is the opposite of my other PNYC, where we dance around and chant, this one was kind of hard core. The teacher kept trying to move my legs and getting me to lift higher, stretch farther all that business...Jon was really not into it at all. He was so cute in the class though and I love him for being forced to come.

Yesterday was my glucose test and another visit with the midwife. I was so concerned about getting the timing right to drink the drink have my appointment and then get the timed blood drawn but it was so not a big deal, there was nothing to panic about. The orange drink was really gross though. But #1 liked it and he kept kicking in the place where the midwife was trying to listen with a Doppler.

Less than two weeks until our visit east to see the parents. We are bringing out large little dog and I am having nerves about fitting him under the seat of the plane. We'll see.

I have been invited to do an open studio with a woman I met in my art class. I think I am going to do it. It will be my last creative hurrah as a non-mom. However this means I actually have to do some painting and see if I will actually have anything to show to people...

Jon and I rented a movie that was actually scary, The Nameless. It was Spanish.
It gave me the nightmares.

I have been having these crazy dreams. I feel like it is a kind of This Is Your Life type dreams. People I haven't thought of in a decade are all of a sudden very meaningful in my dreams. What does that mean?

glutinous green tea ice cream! 

Who wants green tea ice cream? I never liked the stuff and now I can't get enough... 

Green Tea Ice Cream

When I don't have clothes on I look super pregnant. See below for ugliest underpants ever...
Which I guess I should since I am 6 months today. Has it just flown by for you too?
But with clothes on, unless I wear those horrible tie under your boobs shirt (of which I have several,) I still look dumpy. So those undies are the grossest thing known to man. But I have to wear the huge ones because otherwise #1 kicks the crap out of where the underpants are touching him.

I am going to MA for the last week of August to try to experience some real summer. I bought myself a onesie. It doesn't seem fair that one piece outfits are not cool for adults. Perhaps due to their awkwardness while trying to use the loo.

I just finished reading Truman Capote's Other Voices, Other Rooms. What an excellent book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the southern writers.

I went swimming yesterday and afterwards I was aching for some green tea ice cream. I went to a little ice cream place and got two scoops. Yeah that was not enough. The pool is right near Japantown and so I went to the market. You can see what happens when you take, craving + inability to make decisions = $12 worth of green tea ice cream.

Does green tea ice cream have caffeine?

Hands Down - the most humiliating thing about pregnancy is the underwear... 

Miss Teen USA

Last night jon and I were watching Miss Teen USA (yes the fun never stops around here.)

I happened to say "MISS TEEN USA" really obnoxiously and perky they way they said it on tv about 8 times per minute. Motu jumps up and starts getting really excited. Jon and I laugh, then motu spins around 6 times and relaxes again. jon says "MISS TEEN USA" Motu freaks and starts trying to crawl inside jon's mouth hole. We are laughing away.

Now we just have to say "MISS TEEN USA" and the reaction from the dog is hilarious.

I went back to bed today at like 11am, (well, excuse me, I had been awake for 2 1/2 hours and I was sleepy.) Motu was on the couch and I wanted him to come to the bed so I could snuggle him, so I said rather softly, "MISS TEEN USA". He was there within a minute.

Oh it is a laugh a minute here!

There is no doubt

I am a bit of a pseudo-hippy. I eat organic foods (when possible), I recycle, I live on Haight St in SF,I have dubious personal hygiene. I am planning on BF and using cloth diapers part time(hopefully).
That being said, can I say how much I love the book Spiritual Midwifery
These ladies are serious hippies! They are not faking the funk like me. I highly recommend this book and I am forever indebted to Francesca for suggesting it. I think I am going to pick up Ina May's Guide to Childbirth as well. Could it be as good and inspiring and hippified?
It makes me not fear birth since it is "groovy" and "psychedelic". Hell, you may even get stoned off the good vibes. I also like that on "The Farm" (the commune) when a woman goes into labor too soon, like her seventh month or something, they encourage her to throw back some booze to relax the mother and stop the contractions.
#1 has been moving around like crazy, even jon has gotten to feel him a couple of times.
I am curious does anyone have any opinions on child birthing classes? Useful? Worth $150?

ugh

you know they forgot to mention the heartburn.
yes perhaps it would be lessened if I didn't eat chocolate chip cookies at 11:30 and then immediately lay down.
fuck you delicious chocolate chip cookie.

Some pictures you may or may not find interesting

Motu Wearing Panties

the Sock Monkey I made

Motu and Jon at the Marathon

Cutest baby thing

There are some other pictures please peruse.

There are no pictures of me because my ass is sticking out in direct proportion to my belly. NOT PRETTY.

The baby is moving around like crazy.
I am 23 weeks. I guess this is the last week of my fifth month. It is surprising how confusing determining how pregnant you are is...

Ketchup

It has been a while and there is a lot to cover so bear with me.

A) #1 Stunna has been break dancing like crazy. Jon even felt him on Saturday and that was very exciting. He now likes to go to sleep with his hand on my belly. While that sounds sweet it really leaves a sweaty hand print on my belly. But that was big news. Usually he moves around at night. But yesterday during PNYC, every time I got into child pose he would give me a good kick, so precious.

B) We saw the movie Rize over the weekend. It was real cool, if you have a tiny art house theater near you I saw go and see it. It is all about Krumping. If you love the dancing this is a weird/cool documentary. I am not saying it is without its flaws, but well worth seeing.

C) The San Francisco Marathon was here on Sunday. I cried through it. It makes me very emotional, testament to the human spirit and whathaveyou...

D) Although this probably should have been B) I am now the 3rd most pregnant in my PNYC. No it is not a competition, but it is. Except I am NICE to the ladies who are in their 18th or 20th week, smiling and the like. I mean there were only 5 of us in the class.

E) I thought the new Horny Potter book was very lame. Did this stop me from "reading" it compulsively (by reading, of course, I mean downloading it off the internet and listening while I knit.)Am I eager for the last book? You betcha.

F) Really was July like 4 seconds long for anyone else? Practically non-existent?

G) For those of you who I have told this story to already, I beg your pardon. But it is really my best story and I need to have it memorialized on the blog.
I have started swimming. I am a water baby at heart and since, in theory, it is summer (can I say how much I love SF again!) I am swimming at a public pool. I was in the changing room after a particularly vigorous swim. They keep the locker room a balmy 90 degrees, you know to promote spore growth. So I was standing there naked trying to dry off enough to get my clothes on. This herd of 10 or 11 year old girls come rushing in chattering and giggling and come into my aisle of the locker room. Where they stop dead in their tracks, all bumping into the backs of the girls in front. They turn and RUN away, but not before one of them said, EWWWWWWWW. Apparently I am not the pregnant goddess I suspected...