Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Zen New Age Idealism in the Proverbial Shitter

So my new homeless friend has turned out to be a crazy psycho. He has figured out where we live (scary since I am pretty sure that he followed me home one night)
And he had the gaul to RING MY DOORBELL YESTERDAY looking for money.
I am officially spooked and feeling very foolish.

Some lady who was at least ten years older than me called me an old bitch.

Then I lost my bus transfer.

Reap what you sew, sucker!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005


This is Motu's new very fancy jacket.  Posted by Hello

 Posted by Hello

Monday, March 28, 2005

Don't be afraid, but this is some zen new age babble.

The storm has passed and it is all blue skies from here.
As you may know if you read this drivel I am prone to spout, I have been in the karmic dumpster, been afraid to leave the house for fear of more 'negative vibes', hey I am living in San Francisco.
So I have been on a quest to balance myself out. I have been meditating on accepting positive energy into my life and trying to act on this energy rather than just posit on it.
Last Thursday, I was in the Park with Motu. He has a morbid fear of skate boarders that manifests itself in lunges at passing skate boarders and vicious barking. There were a couple of skate boaders in the park. I asked them if I could play with their boards for a couple of minutes. I attempted to desensitize Motu to the noise and motion. I even got him on the board for a second it was pretty cute. But as you can imagine this spectacle was intriguing to some of the homeless guys in the park. One of them took a real shine to Motu and was kissing him and the guy seemed so proud that motu was really into him ( I didn't have the heart to tell him motu loved everyone) He kept looking at me and saying, "he likes me! He really likes me!"
That night I was walking Motu really late, like 12:00 am or so. It was actually "cold" for SF, possibly even under 50 degrees.
The guy from the park emerges from under someone's stairs. He's like, "Hey it is my little friend" and Motu goes through his charming dance of meeting someone somewhat familiar. Terry (as I find out the homeless guys name) is out on the streets. He is very cold. Some other homeless guy has stolen his sleeping bag and his only other set of shoes. Terry has cancer from Agent Orange and he is being treated with chemo. He did two tours in Vietnam. Now he is homeless. He asks me for some $, he tells me he hasn't eaten in 2 days. I tell him I don't have anything on me as I am in my pajamas and in my dog walking clothes. But something about this guy. I don't know normally I am so suspicious about homeless people. Especially white homeless men. What can they complain about? But this guy is damaged. Mentally and Physically. I really felt for him. So I told him to wait and I would be back in 10 minutes. He looks at me, "you mean it?" and I say "yeah sit tight" "you are gonna come back right, yeah you are" and I walk back to the apt. I made him some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and gave him some raisins, oranges and water. And 5 bucks. I come back out with the dog and terry says, "you came back!" I hand him the bag and the 5 dollars. He puts the cash in his pocket and looks in the bag. "What's this?" I say "oh nuthin, just a few sandwiches and stuff" He looks at me with tears in his eyes. And then he proceeds to tell me I am an angel and that I am going to heaven and he is going to pray for me and I am a good person and my husband is so lucky and I am a wonderful person. It was a little embarrassing that two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches can reduce this mane to tears. It must be so dehumanizing for him. I know the way people must treat him. I mean I had my own selfish reasons for helping him. I am trying to balance out my karma afterall.
Since then though my mood has lifted considerably. I don't feel so depressed. And today in the park the owner of the dog Paulo, that bit Motu last week was there. So I confronted him. He was nothing but sweetness, civility and apologies. He offered to pay for half of Motu's vet bills, and promised to send a check within the next week or so. Motu was able to confront him attacker which he did by hiding behind me.

I have been kinder to the kitties. I figure they are asses and displaced. I have been trying to cuddle them and just be better to them, love begets love. You reap what you sew and all that shit.

I sold some stupid shit on Ebay and now I am going to take a knitting class with the $ I made.

Life is good my friends.
Welcome to my crazy manic world...

Monday, March 21, 2005

No - I Am serious this time.

How does one go about getting rid of cats?
Really, I am so done with these two beasts. Otis ruined one of my pastel paintings by laying in it and so now he is covered by pastels. I am hoping that he will ingest enough of the pastels so that they will be toxic and die. I think he would have to ingest a lot more of the course of a long time for him to really die. In reality it is probably enough to just make him puke all over the place.

AND Roofie pissed inside the box spring of my mattress. As I was removing the mattress and sheets I sliced my finger open on an errant staple. I cannot take it anymore. I am hysterical writing this.

I know you (anyone) would think I am a terrible person. But I cannot take it. They are so destructive. Literally everything in my house smells like cat piss. My couch, the rug, of course the dog's bed, my blankets, and now my bed. My bed is my sanctity. Like everyone I think. And now it too reeks of cat piss. This apartment is too small to handle the litter box even if I clean it everyday the whole house smells like piss. And it seems on the days I clean the litter box Roofie pisses in Motu's bed. When I think of all the breakdowns that I have had since we have moved out here 100% of them were spawned by actions of the cats. God that sounds crazy.

Should I drop them off at an animal shelter? How does one go about getting rid of animals they don't want.
I have always frowned upon people that "get rid of" their animals. It always seemed terribly heartless and cruel of people. I don't think I am any kind of exception. I am an irresponsible person and I hate my cats. There was a time I loved them. I am sure of it. But I keep wishing we have left them in NY.

I no longer care if they go together, or if they have to live the rest of their lives in a shelter. I cannot take it. I wish there was something someone could say or do to make this better. I am a bad person. I grabbed Otis by the scruff and slapped the shit out of him. I am a bad person. IF you hurt animals and children you are evil. I have always maintained this.

Oh my god Motu just came over and licked the tears and snot off my face and now he is sitting in my lap. I don't deserve him. He is such a great dog. Maybe to balance out the evil cats. He's never destroyed anything. He has had two accidents in the 9 months that we have been here. I think they were triggered by confusion, because roofie was pissing all over the place, why shouldn't he?

Jon is due back on Saturday morning. Last night the news reported there was a powerful earthquake in Japan. Where is Jon? Tokyo. His flight seemed to have landed fine though in Seoul just a bit late. My stomach was in my feet as I checked the Internet to make sure Tokyo hadn't fallen into the sea or something...
I still haven't heard from him but he said he didn't have a calling card for Korea so it may not be until he gets to HK on Weds that I hear from him. Just one more thing to beat myself up ove

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Bachelorette Iron Chef

When Jon travels, I always make all these promises to myself that I am going to excersise 40x a day. I am only going to eat salad and steamed vegetables. So that when he gets back he won't even recognize me because I will be a super model.
Then reality sets in. And I am making trisquit pizzas with every little scrap of cheese in the house. I just had gouda, gorgonzola and some random other cheeses on my trisquit pizza. And then I polish it all off with some Spicy V8.

I am sure I will continue to snack and eat random shit and maintain the same level of fattitude (attributed to DC-M).

Last night I was watching Legally Blonde and all of a sudden Friggin Otis is racing around the apartment dragging has ass all over the floor and the carpet. I guess he got some shit caught somewhere uncomfortable and proceeded to sling shit, rhino style, all over the friggin place. He had shit caked into his fur. I was up to my eyeballs in shit. I finally corralled him into the bathroom and locked him in there. When I let him out 30 minutes later, all the shit was gone. How fucking gross. He is a shit eater!

Otherwise I am really enjoying watching terrible tv that jon won't tolerate and generally being a shit in, oh, I probably mean shut in.
Motu however, is desperately missing his daddy and lunges at any man who looks at him and won't stop jumping on them. If they are skinny asian men- forgetaboutit.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Karmic Cleanse

So something is off. Way off.
My karma has been in the trash for the last couple of days. It is approaching the point where I feel a little bit afraid to leave the house.
Then again bad things happen in three's so I maybe in the clear. Or maybe not. Perhaps all my years of bitchwitchery have caught up with me.
I.
Friday I go to the ATM. I take some cash out and look at the balance. EEEK it was $21.46, so I shove my card back in and transfer some $ from savings into checking. Then apparently I walked away with my ATM in the machine! I go back less than 10 minutes later, because I realized at the checkout of the grocery store that I didn't have my card. So I go to the bank and ask if anyone has turned in my atm card, the lady is like "no but someone turned in $40, is that yours?" I cancel my card and all that jazz. I get home and because I am paranoid, I check my balance online. The $200 I transferred from savings was taken out right after I put it in. So the person in line behind me just ganked my $$. So I call the bank they file a fraudulent claim or whatever the hell they call it.
II.
Jon and I were having this stand-off on the laundry. We are talking major neglect. Maybe 2 months worth of laundry. I know I am a crappy housewife. But this laundry has been the cause of several fights and bad feelings. SO FINALLY we do it. It costs us like $18 at the laundry mat. I guess I overstuffed the washing machine because the machine gets stuck and refuses to unlock. There are no attendant on duty for hours. When a man finally shows up he has no idea what to do. So our laundry was held hostage for about 2 days. They finally got it out and they even rewashed it and dried it for us.
III.
Sunday morning jon and I are in the dog park with, well, the dog. We all know Motu is a bit 'mouthy'. So this LARGE 80+ lb black lab comes up to Motu for a sniff and Motu snaps and the other dog just clamped right onto Motu's scruff and picked him up off the ground and gave him a couple of good shakes before the owner could go and pry the dog's jaws off of my puppy. Motu is absolutely freaking, making that horrible wounded dog noise. I grab him and hold him like a baby. The poor thing had crapped himself. Somehow the bad dog only gave motu one good sized puncture. I literally cannot believe that Motu was left relatively unharmed after what I saw happen. I took him to the vet yesterday and the vet shaved him and gave me some antibiotics. He said it was nothing and the mr poochy mcdoogle will be fine.

All of this is coming off the heels of jon's impending departure tomorrow for the exotic far east. I am nervous as hell and feel like I have to do something major to cleanse this bad mojo I have floating around me and taking up all my personal space.

There have been several really positive and cool things happening as well. So maybe that was just the balancing. Last week I went to an art opening at City College here. I took a bus for 100 years and then I was at the college. I went with a woman who went there 25 years ago. She says you want to see something neat? and takes me to the theater there. The Diego Rivera theater. You know why it is called that? There is this huge beautiful vibrant awesome did I mention HUGE Diego Rivera fresco in the theater from 1940. What a magnificent and wonderful treat! A hidden gem.

Also last week the local fine art museum here, The Legion of Honor, was sponsoring this Bouquet to Art. The idea was to invite local florists pick a piece of art and create a corresponding bouquet. It was absolutely beautiful. To add the beauty and extremely original floral designs to the museum and the art was a beautiful marriage. I am going to upload some pictures and I will create a link so you'all can see if you are interested.

Anyone have any suggestions?