Don't be afraid, but this is some zen new age babble.

The storm has passed and it is all blue skies from here.
As you may know if you read this drivel I am prone to spout, I have been in the karmic dumpster, been afraid to leave the house for fear of more 'negative vibes', hey I am living in San Francisco.
So I have been on a quest to balance myself out. I have been meditating on accepting positive energy into my life and trying to act on this energy rather than just posit on it.
Last Thursday, I was in the Park with Motu. He has a morbid fear of skate boarders that manifests itself in lunges at passing skate boarders and vicious barking. There were a couple of skate boaders in the park. I asked them if I could play with their boards for a couple of minutes. I attempted to desensitize Motu to the noise and motion. I even got him on the board for a second it was pretty cute. But as you can imagine this spectacle was intriguing to some of the homeless guys in the park. One of them took a real shine to Motu and was kissing him and the guy seemed so proud that motu was really into him ( I didn't have the heart to tell him motu loved everyone) He kept looking at me and saying, "he likes me! He really likes me!"
That night I was walking Motu really late, like 12:00 am or so. It was actually "cold" for SF, possibly even under 50 degrees.
The guy from the park emerges from under someone's stairs. He's like, "Hey it is my little friend" and Motu goes through his charming dance of meeting someone somewhat familiar. Terry (as I find out the homeless guys name) is out on the streets. He is very cold. Some other homeless guy has stolen his sleeping bag and his only other set of shoes. Terry has cancer from Agent Orange and he is being treated with chemo. He did two tours in Vietnam. Now he is homeless. He asks me for some $, he tells me he hasn't eaten in 2 days. I tell him I don't have anything on me as I am in my pajamas and in my dog walking clothes. But something about this guy. I don't know normally I am so suspicious about homeless people. Especially white homeless men. What can they complain about? But this guy is damaged. Mentally and Physically. I really felt for him. So I told him to wait and I would be back in 10 minutes. He looks at me, "you mean it?" and I say "yeah sit tight" "you are gonna come back right, yeah you are" and I walk back to the apt. I made him some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and gave him some raisins, oranges and water. And 5 bucks. I come back out with the dog and terry says, "you came back!" I hand him the bag and the 5 dollars. He puts the cash in his pocket and looks in the bag. "What's this?" I say "oh nuthin, just a few sandwiches and stuff" He looks at me with tears in his eyes. And then he proceeds to tell me I am an angel and that I am going to heaven and he is going to pray for me and I am a good person and my husband is so lucky and I am a wonderful person. It was a little embarrassing that two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches can reduce this mane to tears. It must be so dehumanizing for him. I know the way people must treat him. I mean I had my own selfish reasons for helping him. I am trying to balance out my karma afterall.
Since then though my mood has lifted considerably. I don't feel so depressed. And today in the park the owner of the dog Paulo, that bit Motu last week was there. So I confronted him. He was nothing but sweetness, civility and apologies. He offered to pay for half of Motu's vet bills, and promised to send a check within the next week or so. Motu was able to confront him attacker which he did by hiding behind me.

I have been kinder to the kitties. I figure they are asses and displaced. I have been trying to cuddle them and just be better to them, love begets love. You reap what you sew and all that shit.

I sold some stupid shit on Ebay and now I am going to take a knitting class with the $ I made.

Life is good my friends.
Welcome to my crazy manic world...