No - I Am serious this time.

How does one go about getting rid of cats?
Really, I am so done with these two beasts. Otis ruined one of my pastel paintings by laying in it and so now he is covered by pastels. I am hoping that he will ingest enough of the pastels so that they will be toxic and die. I think he would have to ingest a lot more of the course of a long time for him to really die. In reality it is probably enough to just make him puke all over the place.

AND Roofie pissed inside the box spring of my mattress. As I was removing the mattress and sheets I sliced my finger open on an errant staple. I cannot take it anymore. I am hysterical writing this.

I know you (anyone) would think I am a terrible person. But I cannot take it. They are so destructive. Literally everything in my house smells like cat piss. My couch, the rug, of course the dog's bed, my blankets, and now my bed. My bed is my sanctity. Like everyone I think. And now it too reeks of cat piss. This apartment is too small to handle the litter box even if I clean it everyday the whole house smells like piss. And it seems on the days I clean the litter box Roofie pisses in Motu's bed. When I think of all the breakdowns that I have had since we have moved out here 100% of them were spawned by actions of the cats. God that sounds crazy.

Should I drop them off at an animal shelter? How does one go about getting rid of animals they don't want.
I have always frowned upon people that "get rid of" their animals. It always seemed terribly heartless and cruel of people. I don't think I am any kind of exception. I am an irresponsible person and I hate my cats. There was a time I loved them. I am sure of it. But I keep wishing we have left them in NY.

I no longer care if they go together, or if they have to live the rest of their lives in a shelter. I cannot take it. I wish there was something someone could say or do to make this better. I am a bad person. I grabbed Otis by the scruff and slapped the shit out of him. I am a bad person. IF you hurt animals and children you are evil. I have always maintained this.

Oh my god Motu just came over and licked the tears and snot off my face and now he is sitting in my lap. I don't deserve him. He is such a great dog. Maybe to balance out the evil cats. He's never destroyed anything. He has had two accidents in the 9 months that we have been here. I think they were triggered by confusion, because roofie was pissing all over the place, why shouldn't he?

Jon is due back on Saturday morning. Last night the news reported there was a powerful earthquake in Japan. Where is Jon? Tokyo. His flight seemed to have landed fine though in Seoul just a bit late. My stomach was in my feet as I checked the Internet to make sure Tokyo hadn't fallen into the sea or something...
I still haven't heard from him but he said he didn't have a calling card for Korea so it may not be until he gets to HK on Weds that I hear from him. Just one more thing to beat myself up ove