I am so GD boring... 

21 week explosion. You can see the sock monkey I am making on the lamp. 

Mothers Support Group

They are gutting the apartment below me so I have to blast music while they rip down walls? It is hard to concentrate while blaring Bright Eyes, he is one of the princes of puss rock though. So I apologize if this post is even more disjointed than usual...

Last week, I responded to this ad on Craig's List (no, I will never learn) calling for new mothers, trying to conceive, and pregnants, who are not registering for baby's first Range Rover, who will not have a nanny, blah blah blah. You know regular not rich people. So there were emails exchanged and the lady I, was really nice. She was just pregnant and we were going to get together and talk about pregnancy. I get this email from I telling me she started bleeding and things were not going well. In the end, she lost the baby. Now she was the organizer of this things and I was all like well I guess that is over for a while but, I still wanted to get together.
Last week I met I and another lady for dinner. The other lady had a 20 month old. It took me literally 5 minutes to stick my foot in my mouth. I was asking me about the ultrasound. And I told her it was a huge relief to see the baby and no I hadn't killed him by sleeping on my stomach. UGH! There was stark silence. There is no way to recover from such an asinine insensitive thing. We all just stared at our food. I pretended my French fries were the most interesting things I had ever seen. I am renewed with a sense of shame as I write that. Perhaps the ugliest thing about it was that I picked up the check after very little protestation from either me or the other lady.
I was fairly quiet after that. But not the other lady, oh my god what a know-it-all. And all of you know that I like to be the only know-it-all in the room. Granted she has the child she has been through labor and delivery yeah blah blah blah. And I truly valued her opinion in certain things. But most of all I wanted to razz my tough at most things she said, 'cause you know what? It is your opinion, not the word from on high. She was judge-y McJudgerson on all things from breastfeeding to the circumcision, to cloth diapers to hygiene. It was obnoxious. She did not breast feed, she said it was because she is on medication but even if she wasn't she wouldn't. She was the one that laughed at my idiocy about cloth diapers. They both made a face when I said I was having a midwife. The other lady was like 'please tell me you are having him in a hospital,' well yes I am but, plenty of people are not and you are judging them too? Cripes - these are all such personal decisions - sure, offer your opinion, but man, don't hate!
I need to find a more earth, mother, supportive support group.
FYI -
-I love my midwife, she will sit with us for 2 hours if we wanted to. She is patient and cool and realistic. I LOVE HER.
-No we are not going to circumcise #1 Stunna. We are not of the Hebrew Nation. (mmmm Hebrew nationals...)
-I am really going to try with the clothies, yes they are gross and extra work and stuff. I am trying to be realistic and maybe I will do it twice and never do it again but, shit can I make my own mistakes?
- I am going to breastfeed. How long? Can't tell you, again trying to be realistic...

Short list of things I DO NOT want to hear about:

1)Your last boss's wife losing her baby in the 8th month because the cord wrapped around its neck.
2) "You are going to have a horrendous delivery because you are having such an easy pregnancy." (This is helped by using a devilish tone and you can tell the person (MIL) is tenting her fingers while saying it.)
3) Your niece's plumber's babysitter actually knew the Pettersons so - WATCH OUT!
4) Your cousin whose child chewed off part of her nipple while breast feeding.
5) How much you pooped on the delivery table.
6) "You are crazy if you think you are going to use cloth diapers." This is especially helpful if you have a) never tried cloth diapers or b) are laughing while saying it like I am an idiot. Can I get a little support?

Cutest baby item so far...jon got it in hk. 

cool sunburn necklace... 

Side view, and yes we were having a dog party on the beach. I only had 2 hotdogs though.... 

Apparently this is what 5 months preg looks like, I am the dumpy one... 

More hot dog please! 

Here is some buddy eating his july 4th hot dog. 

Look how cute these diapers look. 

Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

So that was very cool.
I got it on with a Dildo utrasound cam and we saw our little man.
The technition was like, "and these are his boy parts..."
wow, um, technical.

So there is just one, and nary a sight of the three hotdogs I ate on the 4th.

It was sort of surreal. Like watching something on tv,(at a very awkward angle.) Certainly all that activity and animation isn't happening in me.

He weighs 10 oz.

Here come the waterworks...

Ultrasound tomorrow

You know I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Yes, I want to see the gender of #1 Stunna, but more importantly that everything is alright, that we are growing nicely, that there is only 1 #1 stunna. What if, say, they put that wand there and see, oh I don't know, a Cornish Game Hen or those three hotdogs I ate on July 4th. Or worse of all nothing. I made the whole thing up!

I am 19 weeks and I don't think I have felt anything. I still don't really look pregnant. No one is giving me their seat on the bus or anything...

My emails with a fellow pregnant has made me have to bring up this topic re: ultrasound:
Why do people think it is their god given right to assume and insinuate what a bad mother I am while we decide top find out the gender of the baby?

Example #1 Lady I know: "Are you going to find out the sex?
me: "yes"
LIK: "oh good, I feel bad for people who waste that technology and decide not to find out, it pisses me off"
me: "umm ok" (inside head, why the fuck do other people's intimate decisions affect you even slightly? Guess what? It is none of your damn business!!!)

Example #2
This weird crazy French lady I know: "Are you going to find out zee sex of zee babee?"
Me: "yes we are"
WCFLIK: screws up her face like she is smelling shit "Oh why zat ruins everyzing?"
me: "Because we like to RUIN EVERYTHING?!!?"

I went back and forth about knowing the sex. My friend Maria didn't find out the sex for her first baby and I was like wow that is cool. But I want to know dammit. We were even going to make the utrasound tech write it on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope. But why? You know we weren't even going to make it out of the room with that envelope sealed. I am the type of person who peeks at Christmas present and tried to figure out jon's password so I can look at his emails. I go through people's medicine cabinets in their bathroom. I am nosy. I am not good with surprises. So fuck it. We are going to know and then you are going to know if we know. But I don't think I am going to tell the crazy French lady I know.

So here are the results of the guess #1 Stunna's gender:
My dad: Girl
Mariel: Boyeeee
S.I.L.: Boy
father to be: Girl
Steve and Jaime: the Gay.

Thanks for playing.

Oh Crap.

Sandra Day O'Connor retires. This was no surprise - but I was still in denial.
Roe v Wade...buh-bye.

And Luther Vandross died.

This is a wicked sucky way to start July.