Monday, July 18, 2005

Mothers Support Group

They are gutting the apartment below me so I have to blast music while they rip down walls? It is hard to concentrate while blaring Bright Eyes, he is one of the princes of puss rock though. So I apologize if this post is even more disjointed than usual...

Last week, I responded to this ad on Craig's List (no, I will never learn) calling for new mothers, trying to conceive, and pregnants, who are not registering for baby's first Range Rover, who will not have a nanny, blah blah blah. You know regular not rich people. So there were emails exchanged and the lady I, was really nice. She was just pregnant and we were going to get together and talk about pregnancy. I get this email from I telling me she started bleeding and things were not going well. In the end, she lost the baby. Now she was the organizer of this things and I was all like well I guess that is over for a while but, I still wanted to get together.
Last week I met I and another lady for dinner. The other lady had a 20 month old. It took me literally 5 minutes to stick my foot in my mouth. I was asking me about the ultrasound. And I told her it was a huge relief to see the baby and no I hadn't killed him by sleeping on my stomach. UGH! There was stark silence. There is no way to recover from such an asinine insensitive thing. We all just stared at our food. I pretended my French fries were the most interesting things I had ever seen. I am renewed with a sense of shame as I write that. Perhaps the ugliest thing about it was that I picked up the check after very little protestation from either me or the other lady.
I was fairly quiet after that. But not the other lady, oh my god what a know-it-all. And all of you know that I like to be the only know-it-all in the room. Granted she has the child she has been through labor and delivery yeah blah blah blah. And I truly valued her opinion in certain things. But most of all I wanted to razz my tough at most things she said, 'cause you know what? It is your opinion, not the word from on high. She was judge-y McJudgerson on all things from breastfeeding to the circumcision, to cloth diapers to hygiene. It was obnoxious. She did not breast feed, she said it was because she is on medication but even if she wasn't she wouldn't. She was the one that laughed at my idiocy about cloth diapers. They both made a face when I said I was having a midwife. The other lady was like 'please tell me you are having him in a hospital,' well yes I am but, plenty of people are not and you are judging them too? Cripes - these are all such personal decisions - sure, offer your opinion, but man, don't hate!
I need to find a more earth, mother, supportive support group.
FYI -
-I love my midwife, she will sit with us for 2 hours if we wanted to. She is patient and cool and realistic. I LOVE HER.
-No we are not going to circumcise #1 Stunna. We are not of the Hebrew Nation. (mmmm Hebrew nationals...)
-I am really going to try with the clothies, yes they are gross and extra work and stuff. I am trying to be realistic and maybe I will do it twice and never do it again but, shit can I make my own mistakes?
- I am going to breastfeed. How long? Can't tell you, again trying to be realistic...

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