One Month Old

So today the little elephant is one month old.
It is amazing what a month will do. He is laying in his crib staring at his mobile. I figure I have a few minutes.
Baby had his 1 month check up yesterday and he has put on 2 lbs. I can't figure out the math but 2 lbs in a month when you started at 7.10, seems impressive. They took some blood from him to check his bilirubin level. I couldn't stand to go in so I made jon. He said they prick his heel and just let it bleed into the vials that seems awful.

My in-laws were here for xmas. They stayed in a super fancy hotel, The Fairmont. I was duely impressed. They were both sick. MIL by the end of the trip would sneak into where the baby was and hold him. I told her I wasn't so concerned about the baby getting sick, but if we get sick we will be down for the count. I mean the lack of sleep and all that. She said, oh my god, I never even thought of it that way. Can you believe someone could be that selfish? I mean I can't imagine how bad it sucked not being able to hold your grandson but WTF? Give me a break. Jon was getting anxious as shit about the whole thing - oddly enough.

In other news, I have lost 20 lbs but I still look like a fat whale. I have also stopped bleeding and that is a relief. I loathe the maxipad.

Baby has diaper rash and baby acne. It is sad. I think this weekend we are going to try the bottle for the first time. Until now I have been pumping and exclusively breastfeeding him. He looks so cute when he is eating. He makes these little guppy faces and coos and is just the cutest. I feel like it is one time I know I am doing the right thing. The rest of the time who the fuck knows?

I keep kinda waiting for the PPD to set in. I mean I feel a general sense of what am I suppose to be doing and guilt but I think that is ok. In case you are new I am not the most emotionally stable girl on the block. Sometimes when I think of the foreverness of my new stature I freak out a little but I think it is like AA. One day or one hour or one minute at a time.

But like now what should I be doing with baby? He is alert and stuff. I feel bad leaving him to stare at his mobile, but he doesn't really seem interested in "playing" yet. Should I be shaking toys in his face anyway?
I read to him and he likes that and then we go for walks in the afternoon. I don't know. Any suggestions?