Went to my first al-anon meeting today and sobbed all the way through it. It was in the Castro so there were a lot of the gays. I was recommended a womens meeting Monday night. I got a bunch of hugs. This rock star guy named Nikita hugged me for so long that I started sobbing again, and he hugged me more. It was a nice non judgemental space. The lexicon is weird. Going up to see Jon for the first time in three weeks tomorrow. I should be used to him being gone, being distant, but I miss him so much. I am in charge - I am making a choice. Not getting any easier anytime soon.